Five of the biggest parenting mistakes that destroy children's mental health

May 30,2022

Parenting is one of the most physically and emotionally demanding jobs in the world, as it involves more than just providing a roof over a child's head and food in his or her stomach. You're attempting to develop a child who is courageous, independent, kind, hard-working, and a humane individual.

There are many things we get right when it comes to parenting, but there are also some that may do more harm than good. There is a fine line between wanting the best for your child and pushing them unknowingly in the wrong direction. Frequently, parents are ignorant of the mental harm they are inflicting on their children, and it's common for them to declare that "everything is for the best" when they're actually harming their children's minds.

1-Making comparisons between your child and others:

One of the most emotionally damaging bad parenting acts is the comparison to other children. It is the root cause of numerous mental disorders in children, including inferiority complexes, a strong realisation that they will never be good enough, low confidence, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-love. Parents frequently compare their children's career choices, marital status, faith demonstration, test scores, etc. Parents must recognise that each child's mind and body are distinct and comparing your child to others will only cause psychological and emotional trouble.

2-Ignoring your child's emotional needs:

Ignoring the emotional needs of your child is a sort of abandonment in which a parent wilfully creates a number of personality flaws that later prove to be mentally and emotionally detrimental to their children. Abandonment and ignorance do not usually include physical absence; a child might also feel unwanted and neglected through minor gestures.

When a child is hurt, even by something small, it is essential for the parent to console them, comfort them, hug them if they are not feeling well, celebrate their small victories, stand up for them, and most importantly, be there for your children when they need you. If you don't meet your child's emotional needs, they will eventually turn to other sources of support, which may or may not be better for them in the long run.

3-Using guilt to get your way:

Parents can unwittingly send their kids on a guilt trip to get something done for them in an attempt to induce feelings of remorse or shame. They occasionally use emotional blackmail to induce guilt. For example, phrases such as "You go out and enjoy yourself, don't worry about me," accuse them of "not helping out around the house," "not considering what the parents might need," or "I don't take care of my health because I'm too busy caring for your needs." On the surface, it may appear that they are being considerate, yet their actions are intended to elicit guilt. When a parent instils guilt in a child, the effects can be catastrophic and long-lasting, including a loss of self-confidence, difficulty believing they can do anything correctly, and the development of self-doubt and low self-esteem. A healthier way to handle that situation would be for the parent to have a healthy dialogue and explain their desires or expectations without condemning or blaming their child, which is a better way to address the situation.

4-Demanding Perfection:

Children should be taught to reach for the stars, but it should be an option and not a requirement. To become a perfectionist and excel in everything, a child constantly strive and work hard to accomplish more and more. This vicious cycle never ends, and the child is left with a profound sense of dissatisfaction and failure. As a result, mental health concerns such as sadness, stress, and anxiety develop.

As a parent, you must acknowledge that it is acceptable for your child to not always be flawless, to not obtain the highest grades, to not win awards, and to not thrive in every endeavour.

5-Forcing to comply with socially established rules and standards:

Many times, children have their own ways of expressing themselves, and there are some who are, as per society, 'different'. Now, "different" doesn't mean "wrong," but according to the rules and norms that society has made, they are not okay. For instance, if a boy wants to learn to cook, which, according to social norms, is a girl's interest and choice of hobby, respectively, he can be singled out for it, which is not ideal.

So, as parents, you must never force your child to limit their personality, but rather help them to

Bottom line:

Most parents make the above mentioned parenting blunders, and they are often misunderstood as harmless. Parents and society sometimes may not be educated enough on children's mental health to distinguish between bad and good parenting habits.